My Biggest Fear

As I look at the calendar I am reminded of this time last year. It was the first time I realized that it was time for a mammogram. Being only 39 years old why would I need one. I knew my family had a history of breast cancer. 3 generations of women having it along with 2 of them having removal of 1 of their breast with 1 having a double mastectomy. Unfortunately I don’t have a relationship with those family members so I really didn’t know anything about their type of cancer.Β 

So about 2 years ago I noticed I had a lump but I pushed it off as nothing just maybe a cyst, it wasn’t very big at all and it moved when I touched it. Google was my best friend because I was terrified with the thought of having breast cancer. So I looked up symptoms of breast cancer and it seemed it didn’t pertain to me so I just kept living my daily life. However after about a year of ignoring it, I started feeling pain and it have grown just a little bit. So I made the decision to go for my mammogram.

As I sat in the room after the mammogram all I kept thinking was please God let me beat the odds and be ok. The room was filled with pamphlets about what to do when you have breast cancer. I waited for about 15 minutes impatiently. Finally the nurse comes in and says “we need to redo one of your breasts” seriously after waiting I need a redo! With great hesitation I did the redo only to wait another 15 minutes. This time the Dr wanted to see me. We went into a different room, we sat down and he proceeded to tell me that my mammogram came back abnormal. I had 3 cyst along withΒ  micro clarifications. They rated it as a bi rad of 4 which means suspicious abnormality. The fear I felt was just too much all I could think of was my 3 girls and how could I fight this.Β 

So for the next few months I had biopsy’s, ultrasounds, and an MRI. They came back to be ok but now I have to go every 3 months for check ups and if needed my cysts to be removed or drained. Not fun at all but I am so glad I had my mammogram in the first place! I found out right after my mammogram that the BRCA gene ran in my family so I had more blood testing to do. Thankfully I did not have the gene but the Dr told me that I have an 85% chance of getting breast cancer in my lifetime. Scary as hell let me tell you but prevention is key and if that means we go through tests every other day then that’s what we do to make sure our quality of life continues. So as my test grows nearer nervousness overwhelms me but I am doing all I can for now and leaving it up to the Drs to make sure they do their job in helping me prevent or at least get early detection caught before anything more serious happens. So thankful my family has been there for me because without the support it would make it a little harder for me to get through but I also know God walks with me everyday.

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5 thoughts on “My Biggest Fear”

  1. I know how difficult this is for you because it is for me too…i always pray that everything will be ok and God will keep you safe
    I love you with all my heart and soul

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi. That was a scary time for you for sure.. Thank God he got you in for check up when I you did. Praying every Morning n Night for your health to be restored. U are to young n Your Girls still need you. So let’s keep praying n remember the power of PRAY works… God Bless you SisπŸ’œπŸ’πŸŽˆπŸŽ‰πŸŽ‚πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·πŸ·β˜•β˜•πŸ’ŒπŸ˜‰πŸ˜˜πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜‡πŸ’’β›ͺ🌹🌻🌺

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We are all here for you. Praying every night n morning for you n others with Cancer. So many Family n Friends. I pray God will Give the cure to Doctors so we can say No more Cancer pain.AMEN . LOVE U SISπŸ’œπŸ’’πŸ™πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸŒΉπŸ’•πŸ’žπŸ’œβ˜ΊπŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜˜β˜ΊπŸ‡

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