Although it was heartbreaking to have 2 unwanted miscarriages I knew this wasn’t the end of our journey yet. On September 11, 2001, our country faced a horrible tragedy I remember the fear I had and really thought to myself is it really safe to bring another child into this world? Needless to say, that day made so many stronger, and I know it made me believe more than ever our next child would be on his/her way.
It was about a month later that I found out I was pregnant and due in June. My husband and I were terrified something would go wrong again. The doctor watched me closely for the first few months, and I learned some things I did not know throughout the other pregnancies. I found out I had a bicornuate uterus which is a type of congenital uterine malformation or müllerian duct anomalies in which the womb appears to be heart-shaped. I couldn’t believe that in my first 3 pregnancies no one told me this critical information. I really was thankful though because the doctors could help me during this pregnancy. As you can see in the picture below, there is a lot less room in this type of uterus.
I was put on bed rest with this pregnancy, but I really had no problems, I actually enjoyed every minute of it. On June 8th, 2002 I had a healthy baby girl. She had jaundice, but otherwise, she was just fine and is now in 11th grade and working a job along with her studies.
We waited about 2 years to try for another baby, some may be thinking why would you try for another baby knowing the risk I could be taking. I felt my dream was to have 3 kids and to be a caregiver. I knew I was in good hands with the doctors and that they would continue to take care of me. I did not get pregnant right away it took about 3 years.
When we found out we were pregnant again the doctor put me on bed rest, but I did have some bleeding at first, so I tried to be as careful as possible. This was a complicated pregnancy for me, I had a lot of heartburn and had to be put on medication for it. My hip would pop in and out of place. From the time I was 6 months pregnant, the doctor ordered me to have physical therapy 2 days a week because the baby was laying on my sciatic nerve along with having to have my hip put back into its normal position.
I started having labor pains with my baby girl around 34 weeks, I was in and out of the hospital for about the next 2 weeks, and the doctor told us that it should be safe if she were to come this early. I was due Oct. 1, but on Sept 3 my daughter had other ideas. It was around 11pm Sept 2nd when I started feeling strong contractions. I had already planned for someone to watch my other to girls, so we were definitely ready to get this show on the road.
We got to the hospital around 12:30am on the 3rd, they gave me medication because I also had Group B streptococcus (GBS) which is a type of bacterial infection that can be found in a pregnant woman’s vagina or rectum. I had it with all my pregnancies so what they would typically do is start an antibiotic drip for the safety of the baby. Group B could be very deadly to the baby if it were to come in contact with it.
I was given an epidural as well because I did not have any medication during the birth of my 2nd baby delivery as it was too late to get any meds. So I knew for this one I was getting the medication to take the edge off. It was around 7:20 am, when the nurse came in and checked me, she said well you are 9 cm, she then took a long pause. She had a fearful look on her face, “I will be right back.” I could sense that something was wrong. The doctor came in and checked me, her face was as white as a sheet and said: “someone bring me the ultrasound, please. They rushed in, she put the ultrasound on my belly looking and feeling around. She turned to the nurse and said we are doing an emergency c-section right away get ahold of someone in the operating room and get her prepped asap.
I decided to blog about my journey with my daughter Hope. She is the youngest of her two other sisters. I have thought about writing a book to help others more aware of the type of disability she has. It is so much more complicated than people could imagine. I will go through some of the family histories that may have led to her diagnosis. I will also walk you through my pregnancy differences as well. In writing this blog, I hope that I can be able to help others know you are are not alone in your journey. Reach out to the community and other parents who are dealing with the similar or even different issue because each case isn’t the same.
I remember when I was about 15 I was sitting on my bed doing some writing and had this overwhelming feeling of having children and that I would have three girls. Of course, I laughed that off I was only 15, but I did keep it in the back of my mind for the next five years. I won’t give my entire life story I will save that for another blog. I was married at 20 and pregnant with my first child at 21. We were both very excited and thrilled to be having a baby, but it didn’t come with a lot of worries.
At 24 weeks I went into preterm labor, they had to send me a hospital an hour and a half away because the local hospital was not equipped to handle this kind of situation. They were going to fly me, but the helicopter was not available at the time, so we went by ambulance instead. During that time I had many injections of what I am not sure I assume it had to do with speeding up the organ functions so my daughter would have a fighting chance in case she did come at that time. We arrived at the hospital in about 30 minutes. Thankfully they were able to give me medication to stop the labor and had to be on it for the remainder of my pregnancy. At that time is when I found out that I had a bicornuate uterus. I do have some information on that in one my last blogs but for those who don’t know it’s a heart-shaped uterus which in turn gives the baby less room to grow and can cause miscarriage and preterm labor or birth.
I was able to get through my pregnancy all the way to the due date. Although my baby girl came early, we were extremely excited that on February 29th, 2000 and was very healthy. We named her Angel. My husband and I watched her very closely during the first few years of her life hoping no side effects from the medications that I took during my pregnancy. Fortunately, my daughter was ok and graduated last year with high honors. There is a reason I am going through each of my girl’s pregnancies. I will also go through some family history as well because it is of vital importance to know this information.
About a year and a half later we were pregnant again. Excitement quickly became fear as I was worried the same thing would happen again with this pregnancy. My grandfather had just passed away, and I had been pretty distraught. A few days later I started to bleed, which landed me in the hospital only to find out my little angel was gone. Of course, another heartbreak but the doctor said there wasn’t anything I could have done. He said we could try again as soon as possible. We were pregnant a few weeks later, but unfortunately, that ended in disappointment. At the time it seemed rational for us to try again, but the reality of it was it too soon for all this. The heartbreak was beginning to take a toll on us.
I just wanted to let all my followers know I am still here but taking a little time to do that thing called life lol. I have decided to drop back a bit on how much I blog to once a week. Writing is definitely my passion and will continue to do so but keeping up with my facebook page and writing my book it’s a bit much. I am also raising my special needs child and homeschool her for the early part of my day. I enjoy reading everyone’s blog it gives me a better idea on what I could do to improve my blog.
I am going to continue to support my fellow bloggers as I know how difficult it can be to keep up and think of new and different ideas on a topic. If I can help otherwise, please let me know. I am soon going to put a blog about myself and my family. The struggles of raising a special needs child and the absolute joys as well. I will also share some of my personal struggles along with overcoming my past.
Again please continue to like and follow my blog. I will preferably blog on a Monday or Friday
My facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/carefullythoughtout
When I started my blog about a month ago I don’t think I realized how difficult it can really be. I had no idea about the ins and outs of how it worked, I just figured that if I started writing it would all flow together just like my book I am writing.
I should have done a little bit more research on how to make a blog work and keep it going. I am apart of many different author’s pages on facebook so I have certainly learned a lot but I should have done that first. I did it all backwards lol.
I love writing which is why I have my blog, my fb page, and my book but is it all a little too much for what I am trying to accomplish? Maybe I need to take the most important thing that matters and run with that. I see so many awesome blogs that are set up so nicely and enjoy reading them. My purpose was not to make money but rather further my writing skills and see what others thought about it.
How many of you have done the same? Not regretting anything but wishing you had known how to do it the right way. I am by no means giving up but rather sit back and take my time with this instead of trying to cram everything into one day or even 2 days. My book is paramount to me and my hope is to improve the way I write.
My inspiration comes from my family who has always given me their support and I think by continuing to read others blogs and my devotion to writing I do believe it will all turn out ok. So thank you to those who have been a great support system and to those who give me great feedback. Don’t ever give up on your dreams or your hope, just take a step back when you get frustrated or you simply don’t know what your doing just do a little research it will all come to you.
I hesitated to pick this topic but I felt the need to look at things from a different perspective. Am I affiliated with a particular party? Can I be impartial with how I look at things? Yes to both questions. I have seen so many families being ripped apart because of how strong they feel about politics.
So what makes us so passionate one way or another. Say you are republican, you want a republican president and congress. The same would be said if you are a democrat you would want a democratic president. If you are an independent you vote for whom you feel would be best for your beliefs.
Why do we vote? Do we do it because our affiliation or do we do it for what we may stand for at the time? I have always voted for my party but I have not always agreed with what they are saying or doing. I must say though I have never been disrespectful to any president or congress member because I disagree. We have a democracy and a republic in this country. We vote for whom we feel best. We also have a right to voice our disappointment and disgusted.
Our country seems to be so divided and it’s all based on our opinions and beliefs. Does that seem right to think that one point of view is better than another? I honestly would say no. I have strong views on certain issues but I am willing to hear another point of view even if it means taking a look at why I believe what I do in the first place. There is nothing wrong with believing and having strong convictions but when it starts tearing each other apart and we are losing relationships then we need to start looking at ourselves.
We control how we behave towards others and we also control how we react to different points of view. If you let someone else dictate your life maybe it is time for reevalutation. You have no control over what others say and do but we do control us. My hope and belief are that we stop dividing families and each other over something we may or may not have control over.
Just imagine what this world would look like if we acted and thought all the same. I actually don’t want to picture another me lol we probably would not get along very well. As I tell my kids, think before you speak and think before you act because you are displaying your portrait for everyone to see. As grown ups we are the example for the next generation so be careful what you wish and ask for.
It has been a very difficult ride trying to figure out this thing called Blogging. I have had such good advice on how to tweak my blogs but for some reason, it hasn’t worked really well. I may just start a whole new program somewhere else but haven’t really made up my mind yet. I feel I have had pretty good topics that are near and dear to my heart but I guess there are so many other things involved as well. Writing is something that I absolutely love which is why I have my fb page and my blog along with writing a book. My advice to others is to never give up and yet I struggle with it myself. I have read so many great blogs that are just amazing and maybe I will get there someday as well. Has anyone else had the problem of feeling like your material just isn’t good enough? Or maybe even felt like just giving up and sticking to what you do best? Well for me I have no desire to quit because it’s so much easier to do that rather than put forth an effort to keep going no matter what lies ahead. Do more research which is what I plan to do more often. I believe people walk into blogging or writing a book thinking “well I love to write so this should be a piece of cake” not exactly the case. I give a lot of respect to all authors because I didn’t realize how challenging this process would be also how time-consuming this can be as well. My life is pretty busy but yet I want it all. Well you have to put a little hard work into something you really want. For the past few days I have been working on how to fit an image on mobile and desktop to look the same but it appears I need to continue working a little harder or do more research. I do want to thank all of you who stop by just to take a look even if it doesn’t pretain to you. I will keep pushing forward and I will eventually get it.